Help to Get Back With an Ex

The break up was painful, and the time apart is excruciating. You think about that man night and day, usually while either sobbing or stomping around angry. Friends have tried to set you up with new men, but not a one of them can hold a candle to your ex and you know he is the only one for you. You have made the decision that you will get back with your ex, no matter what it takes, and give the relationship one last shot. But you need some help to get back with your ex and some moral support from your friends.

Keep in mind the fact that while you were going through the break up and its aftermath, you may have said some things that you wish you could take back. Your friends either quietly agreed with you or added fuel to the fire, but either way, ugly words have more than been said. Before you start pursuing your ex, clear the air with your friends and tell them what you intend to do. Explain that you were angry and that you appreciated their support during that terrible time of your life, but that he is truly the man you love and that their continued support is needed. Being your friends, they will agree whole heartedly and do whatever it takes to help you get back with your ex. Yeah, right! They will have a fit and ask if you have lost your mind completely! After the initial shock, they will come around though.

Next, consider the realistic side of things. Do you want to get back with your ex because you still love and miss him, or is it simply because you do not want to be alone? Are you running back to him because you are scared of the unknown? Did one or two bad dates sour you from men in general? Be honest with yourself and do not allow your loneliness or fear gloss over the reasons for the break up. His bad behaviors did not magically clear up when you broke up, so consider everything before moving ahead. If you broke up in the heat of an argument, that is one thing, but if you simply could not tolerate a nasty habit or another, then you are probably bound to repeat the same, sad cycle.

Do you know if your ex is still single? If the break up was because of infidelity, trying to get him back from the woman he left you for is sad, pathetic and fodder for countless country songs. The old saying “you lose a man the same way you got him” is repeated so often because it is painfully true. If you started a relationship with a man who is supposed to be committed, do you honestly think he will not eventually cheat on you too? If he is not single, then sit yourself down and ask: am I looking for love or revenge?

If he is still unattached, and you still want to pursue him, realize that nothing has inherently changed. He is still the same man, you are still the same woman. The problems with the relationship did not vanish. If you are not willing to talk about your issues, then you are not ready to try to work things out. Clear the air, list your grievances and see if compromises can be reached. If the answer is yes, then go slowly, carefully. Pretend he is someone new and relearn what made you love him in the first place. This time you will be more aware of the things that you know you do not love. Be sure you let him know what these things are before they escalate. Try not to get caught up in the rush of familiarity, and as always, try to think with your head rather than your heart.