Mom Entrepreneurs Need Self-Care Not Guilt

Most mom entrepreneurs start their businesses to have a career that's flexible enough to have a meaningful family life. We give up the 9 to 5 grind but sometimes we end up feeling guilty. This can be a daily struggle. When you're working, you feel like you should be spending time with your kids. When you're with your kids, you’re worried about work.

Letting go of the guilt is not an easy thing. When you go on an airplane, they say, “Put the oxygen on yourself first. Then take care of your children.” You need to be a whole and healthy person to fully care for your children, business, spouse, home, etc. Just knowing and accepting that allows some of the guilt to go away.

Here are three practical self-care tips that have helped me keep guilt at bay.

First, invest in yourself.

This can involve every aspect of your life, from your health to your spirituality to your emotional well-being. You may think you’re doing things that are unrelated to your business, but you will see the results in your bottom line when you care for yourself.

I’ve talked about this in previous newsletters. Investing in yourself can mean many things. It can be taking classes, being part of a mastermind group, reading a motivational book in the morning when you wake up and so on. That’s huge. Our personal growth serves us as women and as entrepreneurs.

Second, get out of the house or office.

Many women with home-based businesses stay in the home. We need a change of environment, even if it’s going to your local coffee shop or for a walk. I’ve heard this said before, and I know it to be true for myself, “We don’t really get brilliant ideas sitting at our computer.” The ideas come to us when we’re out and about – our creativity flows when we’re out there in the world, not when we’re stuck in our offices.

When I’m tired and overworked, my family feels it. I’m the nutty mommy. We’ve all gone through that. It’s really important to acknowledge that when we as women are cared for, everyone benefits. My husband jokes, “If you need an hour off to yourself, go do it.” He knows the benefits to our family are huge if I’m feeling well cared for so I take a walk, get a pedicure or have coffee with a friend.

Acknowledge that taking a break not only refuels and recharges you, it also helps you to be your best self. Then, you are that much more meaningful and supportive to all those around you.

Third, stick to a schedule.

A trick I’ve used and recommend is to look at your week as a total. Determine how many hours you want to give just to yourself, whether it’s early morning, middle of the day or whenever it may be. Block them in your calendar in pen. Book other appointments around that time.

If someone says, “Are you free at that time?” your answer is, “No, I’m not. I have an appointment.” They don’t need to know that it’s for a pedicure. It is your appointment in which you are taking care of yourself.

One of the things I work on doing for myself, is using my early morning hours as Kim-focused time. Whether that means I exercise in the morning or write in my journal, I do something that serves me in the morning before the house wakes up. When the kids wake up, I move into mommy-mode. Then once they’re on the bus, I answer my emails and move into my business responsibilities.

If I don’t take care of Kim, it all shuts down and guilt creeps back in. But something magical happens when you know you’re being honest with yourself and keep your self-care appointments. It starts to send a very important message to you that you do believe in yourself. Again, that message plays out in a bigger way. That believe in yourself, your kids feel it, and business partners, employees and customers feel it.

The rewards of self-care.

Many entrepreneurial moms I know feel guilty even thinking about putting themselves first and therefore their needs are often relegated to the backburner. This reasoning won't support you in achieving your goals. You can't afford NOT to take care of yourself. Instead of feeling guilty, recognize that with self-care everyone in your business and personal life benefits along with you.

When I’m well rested and I’ve cared for myself, I can be that much more giving to everyone – especially my children. They feel it and know it. It’s very important to model the behaviors we want our kids to see. They need to experience that self-care is of value.

Guilt is a feeling and an attitude. Turn that feeling into gratitude for having an opportunity to run a stimulating, challenging business and raise a happy family. We often feel guilty for taking time to renew our own spirit, but when we do we have an entirely new energy on the world.