New Years Resolutions: It’s Not Too Late to Find Love

New Years’ Resolutions – we all make them and, unfortunately, most of us break them – every year. We are going to quit smoking, we are going to lose that extra weight, we are going to start eating healthier, we are going to get back to the gym … the list goes on and on for most of us. Though we start the New Year with every intention of sticking to our guns and keeping our resolutions this time, it seems like something always happens that knocks us off course. Though there is no hard and fast proof of it, many experts believe that the reason most people fail in their New Years’ resolutions is because, in the final analysis, we really don’t want to do those things we resolve to do, and we really don’t want to quit those things we resolve to quit.

The good news is, it is never too late to make a resolution that you can keep, and the way to give yourself the best chance of success is to resolve to do something that you really want to do.

Several recent surveys indicate that a very high percentage of people living in the United States list “finding someone to love” as one of the top things they feel they need to accomplish in their lives. The problem seems to be, finding that perfect someone is a very time consuming, very challenging and, in some cases, very unpleasant process. How many of us have spent lots of time and, in some cases, lots of money looking for love in all the wrong places – only to find out that Mr. Wonderful or Ms. Right isn’t so right or wonderful after a half a dozen dates? How many times have we found ourselves on a “blind” date with someone who we find to be about as interesting as a snow shovel, looking at another two hours of endless conversation about her father’s gall bladder surgery and a couple of hundred dollar dinner check for the experience in our immediate future? How many times have we met someone that we think we could really have something special with, only to freeze up when we try to speak to her – sweat, stammer and generally look like an idiot?

There is no doubt about it, being single is tough, and getting “unsingle” can be even tougher. It can really seem as though the odds are stacked against us and that there is no way we can win, but I am here to say – DO NOT DESPAIR! Help is but a few mere keystrokes away.

Yes, you guessed it; I am talking about Internet dating. I know, I know – you have probably heard horror stories about dating on the internet; people are not who they appear to be, scam after scam after scam, very high prices and very low quality results – yup, those stories are out there and, unfortunately, a lot of them are true. But in just the last several years, the online dating world has changed to the point where not only is the process safer and, in many cases, more cost effective than it ever was before, but literally millions of people are doing it – some of them probably even looking for someone just like you. According to Online Dating Magazine, an estimated 20 million people visited online dating sites at least once a month in 2007 and, though the numbers aren’t in yet, some experts believe that number could almost double for 2008. Increased security on many websites – along with increased computer savvy on the part of site uses – have gone a long way towards eliminating a large percentage of the scams of the past. Most legitimate sites respond quickly and efficiently to customer complaints when it comes to possible scam-related activity, and there are literally thousands of articles available on the internet that will tell you what you should be looking out for. Some sites even have an “identity verification” program where they physically verify the identity of users to ensure that they are what and who they say they are.

There are a number of advantages to beginning a relationship via online dating. The pressure to be “instantly on” is removed – beginning a relationship via a keyboard and internet connection allows you a moment or two to think of the right thing to say before you type it. You don’t have to worry about “flop sweat” or “mush mouth” – instead (with the aid of your spell check function) you will appear brilliant every time. Additionally, if it is obvious to you early on that the person’s all consuming interest in the television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or their overwhelming knowledge of everything related to Brussels sprouts, isn’t what you see as the perfect foundation for a long term relationship, escape is just a mouse-click away.

Perhaps the most attractive thing about online dating – particularly during the current economic uncertainty – is its cost effectiveness. Unlike traditional forms of dating, where the pressure is usually on to impress your date (which, unless your date happens to be very in to window shopping or feeding pigeons, can easily run into some serious money) dating online allows you almost complete control over your budget. While virtually all online dating services charge something, there is a wide variety of billing structures available from a straight monthly or annual subscription fee, a “pay as you go” sort of system, or almost endless combinations of both. In general, the amount of money you spend is completely up to you – as is the frequency with which you utilize the service.

Another huge advantage to be found in the online dating world is the fact that it is “open” 24/7/365. No need to get all dressed up, practice what you are going to say right off the bat, or use Google Maps to plot the best course for getting to your date’s house. Online dating tends to be informal and a “hook up” can last just a few minutes, or end up with the two of you walking down the aisle – as over 250,000 people have done in the last 10 years, by some estimates. The bottom line is, you are completely in control of how much time, as well as money, you are interested in investing in it.

New Years’ resolutions fail because most of the things that we resolve to do (or not do) are things that we really don’t find all that attractive in the first place. Finding that special someone, however, is something that we all need to do – and it is something that most of us want to do as well. Finding that special someone online could be the way for you to keep at least one New Year’s resolution this year!