What is Your Body Image?

I’m a teacher, mother, author, and a recovering alcoholic/addict (over 6 years).

Frequently, female addicts or those who possess an addictive personality are cross-addicted. As young as the age of five, I remember having an unhealthy relationship with food -- an obsessive attraction and compulsion to eating, unlike friends my age. Often, I felt like a freak in my own body.

In early recovery, a friend of mine gave me a piece of paper and asked me to draw a picture of myself. When she looked at my creation, I saw tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"This is how you see yourself?" she replied.

I nodded tentatively. “Yeah, I’ll never be a supermodel, huh,” I added.

She hugged me than began to explain about body dysmorphia.

BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder)

What is BDD?

BDD is a mental illness where the sufferer obsesses about their looks -- focusing on one or more specific physical flaws that are frequently minor in appearance. A person with this disorder is often so shamed by their self proclaimed ugliness, they don't want to be seen by others.

Symptoms of BDD

* Either frequent examination in mirrors or total avoidance of mirrors.
* Frequent cosmetic procedures
* Excessive grooming
* Extreme self-consciousness -- refusal to be photographed
* Skin & hair plucking
* Isolation from social events
* Wearing excessive amounts of makeup or clothing to cover flaws

An estimated 1-2% of the population, equally affecting men and women, suffer from BDD. Although researchers can not determine the direct cause of this disorder, researchers have discovered evidence that BDD is biochemical (produced from neurotransmitters in the brain), genetic (directly linked to a suffering relative), and environmental (developed from life experience and culture). Those who have been teased in childhood, physically or sexually abused, possess low self-esteem or have been pressured with high expectations of beauty have a higher risk of developing BDD.

Suffers of Body Dysmorphic Disorder develop social phobias, have difficulty attending work or school, and often become homebound or turn to substance abuse. They frequently display signs of Obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression and mood swings, eating disorders and suicidal behaviors.

Diagnosis & Treatment for BDD

Through physical (blood counts, lungs, heart, and abdomen) and mental examination a doctor can diagnose BDD. Once diagnosed, cognitive and behavioral therapy, often in conjunction with medication to control the serotonin levels in the brain, are recommended. Education and paying close attention to warning signs may avoid a trigger to this condition.

After I learned about BDD and spoke to a licensed physician, I realized I am one of that 1-2%. Although I still see the ugliness in myself, my blinding imperfections, I don't give into my disease. If I allowed it to take over, I would have difficulty functioning -- working, taking care of my daughter -- living. So I look past my flaws, get out of my own head by helping others -- and promote laughter.

I believe laughter is the best medicine in life -- laugh and the world doesn’t laugh at you, but with you.

But this disorder is no laughing matter. If you suffer from BDD or know someone who does, tell someone. Don’t live in the silence of your pain and let this disorder take away your life.

You don’t have to be alone anymore.