Marriage and Finances

Money figures into the downfall of many marriages. If it doesn’t cause the complete demise, it at least hampers the trust factor to a point where living together becomes more of a convenience then actual love. More specifically, what are the major financial problems that couples have and how do we overcome them?

People do not know how to budget properly: This is a fact, people think that they can run the numbers in their heads, ballpark the figures, payoff the bills and spend whatever else is left. The reality is the bills are always higher than you think, you always miss some of the bills, and you always spend more discretionary money than you actually have. What all this causes is mistrust and discontent that your spouse is somehow spending all of the money behind your back and is causing the financial hardships in the household.

The solution to this is simple. Prepare a proper budget and stick with it. It is a very simple concept really. Some colleges and other agencies actually help you prepare a budget for free or at a very minimal cost. What we like is the software that is on your home computer so that both of you can sit down and go over everything together with a fine tooth comb and not feel like your disclosing all of your personal money matters to a complete stranger. There are free programs on the internet but I’d actually prefer programs like Quicken or the like. Sure, maybe I pay a bit of a premium for the name recognition but I know it works and I know I can get help if I need it. The key is that the software is on the computer, bills from the bank account and other things can automatically be deducted from the software and you can go in and look at how the budget is progressing throughout the month. Keep in mind that you will be shocked at the way money is flowing when you first stick to a budget. You are going to find a lot of areas where the both of you can save money.

Bank accounts need to be addressed as well. I’ll tell you how we do it and it has worked for us for a long time but find something that works for you. We both have our separate savings accounts. Neither one of us knows what is in the other’s account nor does it matter, that money can be spent as we see fit. As a side note we also have a retirement account which I am not including in this right now because it is funded more or less by my employer. Now we have a joint checking account where all of our bills, groceries, parenting supplies, kids’ supplies, etc. come out of. What we do is we figured out what we needed each month (by budgeting) added a 3-5% and that’s what we put into the account from our savings accounts. Based on the size of our salaries we figured out a fair amount that each of us contributes each month to the checking account. This not only pays the bills and creates a little money buffer but it also shows how fair and dedicated we both are to the important things in life

The bottom line is that there are steps in avoiding financial marriage crises. What I have told you has worked for us and we do not have financial warfare in our house even though we are strapped from time to time. The largest obstacle, which for one reason or another most families fail to do, is to properly prepare a budget. Fix that and half of the battle is already over.