Who Are the Jonas Brothers and What Do They Sound Like?

I actually thought the Jonas Brothers sang “MMMBop,” but apparently, another teen band called Hanson recorded that song.

Suffice to say, I’m completely ignorant on all things Jonas.

This ignorance is probably explained by the fact that I’m not a 13-year old girl. So even though I’m a huge music fan, I wouldn’t know a Jonas Brother’s song if it bite me on the nose.

Of course, I’ve heard of the Jonas Brothers. I recently saw them on the news. They made a surprise visit to a theater showing their movie, “Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience.”

All I remember from the news story was that the boys had long, black hair and the reporter’s nose job was older than everyone in the audience.

Determined to find out more about the Jonas Brothers, especially what their music sounds like, I went to the internet.

First, I did an image search to confirm that I actually know who they are. What I found were three handsome young men. Surprisingly, they looked exactly like the type of kids I used to shove into lockers back in high school. What great memories those images brought back.

Next, I did a news search. The first link I saw had the headline, “Jonas Brothers Say Recording Leaves Little Time For Love.” Now you know this article is truthful because there’s no way I could have made that up.

Besides learning about the boys’ lack of lovin’, I also learned that their new album “drops” June 15th, they have a new television show called “J.O.N.A.S!,” and their world tour launches May 19th, in Lima, Peru.

The boys will spend about a month touring South America before coming back to the states.

The Jonas Brothers will start the North American leg of their tour on June 20th in Dallas, Texas. They will play 42 more dates in the United States and Canada, before finishing on August 31st with a performance at the Scotiabank Place in Ottawa. After that it’s off to Europe.

Besides the aforementioned shows, the band is scheduled to perform in many, many U.S cities such as Cleveland, East Rutherford, Boston, Philadelphia and and even catch the Jonas Brothers in Las Vegas as well.

That’s all fine and dandy, but I still don’t know what they sound like. So I did a general search of the band. The first site to pop up was the band’s official website.

I skipped it. I never visit a band’s website; they are usually not very helpful and in my experience they are actually quite awful.

And speaking of awful, I decided to log onto their MySpace page. Once there, I was immediately assaulted by a one-minute commercial promoting their world tour.

This obnoxious YouTube video, with its blaring music, had an introduction from the boys, footage of them performing on stage and a list of tour dates scrolling across the screen. It was very annoying.

I listened to the music that accompanied the commercial. It was neither great nor horrible. Jangly guitars and youthful harmonies plastered against a driving rock beat. It was nothing new and quite forgettable.

However, now that I was exposed to their music, I wanted to see and hear more so I clicked on the link to their YouTube page.

Once again I was assaulted by a commercial for their world tour—enough boys! I get it, you’re going on tour.

I then noticed there was only one link to an actual music video. Everything else looked like an interview or behind-the-scenes fluff—not a good sign.

The lone link to a music video led me to a song called “Lovebug.” I listened and was pleasantly surprised. The song was actually quite good. Sure it had the maturity level of a high school prom but it was fun nonetheless.

Again I was concerned when I realized that most of the links on this YouTube page led to videos that didn’t contain music. Maybe my anxiety is a generational thing but shouldn’t they have more music videos?

The next song I listened to was “When You Look Me In The Eyes.” It was so bad I couldn’t finish it.

Feeling my luck would changed I watched “That’s The Way We Roll.” My luck didn’t change. It sounded like a theme song to a bad, syndicated sitcom and for all I know it is.

After that, I clicked on a video called “S.O.S.” It was catchy, upbeat and not nearly as irritating as the last two songs. I decided to quit there, while the boys were ahead.

Now, I’m light-years away from their target demographic but after actually spending the time to listen to their music, I realize they’re not the vapid, bubblegum, corporate sell-outs that music snobs accuse them of being.

Still, I won’t be purchasing any Jonas Brothers tickets to attend their Portland, Tacoma or Vancouver concert, or buying one of their albums, but at least now I know what I’m missing.