"I Don't Love You Anymore" - How to End an Affair

Ending a relationship, especially an affair, is never easy.

Breakup advice is sought every day. You are reading this because you or someone you know wants to end and a relationship but just can’t seem to do it. Relax, you are not alone but there is hope.

This is not going to be easy but if you have even the slightest desire to save your marriage you must end the affair. This is going to be really hard if your lover is quite happy with the way things are going. Understand it will get ugly. Stay focused on what you want – saving the marriage.

So, how do you say goodbye and end the affair forever? Frankly, there is no easy way. Don’t expect a magic bullet (no pun intended) in the form of a script that you can read and your partner will say, “No problem, it was fun while it lasted” and let you go. It’s just not going to happen that way.

Best advice: since you have already realized what needs to be done - just do it. Don’t put it off. The longer you wait, the harder it will get. It’s not right to keep your partner hanging on so do them a favor and get it over with quickly. Make a commitment to do it on a certain date. Mark your calendar if you have to. Promise yourself and then KEEP that promise.

But “What do I say?” you may be asking. How about simply “This isn’t going to work”? Be direct and be honest. Explain why you feel it is better this way. Giving the facts won’t make it hurt less but your words will be remembered and thus easier to accept after the initial shock. Saying only “I don’t love you” won’t be enough. Think through it and be prepared. Chances are your partner already knows it’s not going to work but needs to hear it from you. Just remember, most people appreciate honesty and don’t appreciate be strung along.

You must make it clear that your mind is made up. Stress that there can not be future contact in any way. No phone calls, no text messaging, no quick meetings, nothing. Having contact again will only harm the situation. There is no room for compromise in here.

If your partner tries to call or email you, uou must block them or change your phone number and email address. Remember, there can be no doubt, your decision is final.

Having listed a couiple of things to do, there are some things you don't want to do. Don't be hurtful. There is enough pain and suffering already so don't say "I never had feelings for you". But don't say "I will always have feelings for you" either. That would just give them hope that someday you may rekindle the fire.

One final "don't do": If you choose to tell your spouse about the affair, DO NOT provide any details. This will only make things worse and cause your spouse to relive the image over and over. Can you imagine the torture that would be? Just don't do it.

Want some more tips? There is a link in my About me box that will take you to a review of great “how-to” site that I think you will find helpful.

Ending an affair is not easy but you deserve to be happy and get on with your life.