The Play With Plague: TNA Report For 06/04/09

Sorry for that little break. Finals suck; I had no time to write this. Regardless, last week Sting took over and made some changes in the Mafia: No women and no security. Foley will only defend the belt once a year. Tazz told Joe to take out the Mafia, except Sting. We had two big returns: Raven, and “The Franchise” Shane Douglas (what the hell happened to him? In 2005 he still jacked! Now…just wow.)

Lauren is with the guy who ate Shane Douglas, who asks him about what he did to Daniels last week. Shane, showing he has lost no ego, only muscle and hair color, says that he’s here to make a point in TNA, and to be heard for a long time.

Match 1: Kiyoshi & Basher vs. Daniels & Suicide

Basher and Daniels start off, with Basher gaining the advantage, chopping and punching, but Daniels takes control, and hits a lift kick. Gutwrench suplex, then Daniels tags in Suicide, who enters with a guillotine leg drop, and hits some head buts. Kiyoshi kicks Suicide in the head while bouncing off of the ropes. Basher takes the advantage, and they double team Suicide in the corner. Kiyoshi gets tagged in and face plants Suicide, gets up, and kicks him in the head. Covers and gets a 2 count. Basher is back in, and we see more double teams. Suicide and Basher trade punches, but Basher hit’s a power slam, and Kiyoshi comes in and does a double team kick on Suicide.

Kiyoshi goes for a back body drop, but Suicide flips over and lands a capture suplex. Suicide tags in Daniels, who rampages and nails running clotheslines and kicks. Basher takes a cheap shot from behind, and takes advantage. Daniels blocks a double team in the corner, then takes both out with a face buster/clothesline. Daniels and Suicide hit a rolling crash and moonsault combination on Kiyoshi. Basher breaks up the pinfall attempt, then Suicide takes him out, and lands a slingshot outside the ring. Basher is “injured” and the ref checks on him. Suicide gets taken out by the MMG and Lethal Consequences. Daniels hits a rock bottom, then signals for the BME. Shane Douglas comes in from behind and smacks Daniels with a chain. Basher throws the ref back into the ring, and Kiyoshi covers.

Winners: Basher & Kiyoshi
Match Rating: 7/10

We come back to see Douglas on a chair with a mike. We see a recap of what just happened. Cause I forgot already. He tells Daniels not to take it personally, but its strict business. He’s a fan of TNA apparently, and watching a few weeks ago, he heard JJ disrespecting the legends. He now wants his second chance like Daniels got. And until he does, he’s going to continue to make life miserable on TNA. Yep, miserable. To one person. After or close to the end of a match.

Mick is with JB, who asks whether or not he is really lobbying to have the World Champion defend only once a year instead of 30 days. He says yes, because he’s a champion not a menstrual cycle. He brings up the Super Bowl, and how it would be so much less important if it was held once a month. The thing is, crazy [ beep ] or not, he’s right. It would be a lot more important. Oh but since he mentioned it, WOOO!!! GO STEELERS!!! Anyway, Cute Kip comes in, and says that he needs to be back on the roster. Mick explains that money’s tight, and that he’d consider it. Nash and Jenna are now in, and questions the cage match for tonight. He says that he doesn’t care about ratings, only money. Foley offers triple, but Kevin holds out for quadruple. Screw you. JB then asks, you told Kip money was tight. Mick says, it is…for Kip.

Lauren is with the MMG and Lethal Consequences. Next is Sabin and Creed vs. Beer Money. The Guns say that they don’t like LC, but they’re setting aside differences to solve the Suicide mystery. LC says that they hate the Guns, but agree.

Match 2: Sabin & Creed vs. Beer Money

Roode and Sabin start it off, and Roode locks in an arm wrench, but Sabin does a flipping counter. Roode lands a hip toss, Storm makes a blind tag. Sabin goes for a springboard DDT, but Storm comes in and BM nails a double suplex on Sabin. Creed comes in, but Storm takes advantage and hit’s a crazy slam. Sabin pulls Storms hair and tags in, lands some hits, then Creed is back in. Clotheslines, then Sabin is back in, and double team on Storm. They both try a springboard, but collide. Roode gets in and cleams house. Spinebuster to Creed, but Sabin breaks the pin attempt. The British Invasion are out, but 3-D takes them out. Sabin accidentally kicks Creed in the head, and Storm hits a Last Call on Sabin, then a D.W.I. on Creed.

Winners: Beer Money

Match Rating: 7/10

Lauren is with the Beautiful People, going to do something.

The BP are attacking Victoria/Terra, but she takes out the BP, with weapons. Love tries to run, and goes straight into a wall.

Tonight’s lineup and Slammiversery hype.

MEM interview coming up.

Lauren is with Daffney, talking about her issues with Wilde. Daffney says that crazy people have no logic; she’s there but not there. She has to hurt Taylor Wilde, oh and, she has voices in her head.

Tenay is with the Mafia, asking about Joe’s hitlist. Nash talks about being in the cage, but he needs to be the champ. To get to the MEM, he still has to get by Nash tonight, which will be hard. Booker T says that when the Mafia get hit, they’ll hit back. Steiner says that threats are a part of wrestling, but that fat SOB is trying to take us out. Kurt jumps in, that the MEM will annihilate Joe, talking like he’s still the Godfather. Sting calms him down, says that they are family. Then that they’ll take out Joe on their clock, his way.

Recap of the Beautiful People, Roxxi, Daffney, and Taylor Wilde, and eventually Abyss and Stevie.

Match 3: Daffney vs. Taylor Wilde

Wilde kicks out Daffney before the bell, and attacks hit outside the ring. Inside the ring, Wilde is punching her, but Stevie and Raven come out and distract her, and Daffney takes advantage. She hit’s a superman punch in the corner. She tries to hit an elbow, misses, and Wilde nails a missile dropkick. Stevie distracts, Daffney takes advantage, and hits the Lobotomy.

Winner: Daffney

Match Rating: 7/10

Daffney attacks after the match, but Stevie stops her. Raven says that for over a decade people were waiting for the Richards/Raven reunion. Why Abyss? Why not? He disobeyed Stevie, and didn’t fill the prescription. Quote the Raven, “Nevermore”.

JJ is coming out.

Recap of the EY and JJ issues.

JJ introduces EY. They go way back, and EY got his opportunity, but Jeff came out on top. Instead of respecting that, he jumped him. He tells Eric this can be over, or keep it going. The crowd chants “fight”. Eric mocks JJ. He talks about his father, and how Jeff was like one to him, talking about his accomplishments, and his home life. The American dream. They both had the same kind of childhoods, with bad fathers. But Jeff is becoming his father. He is concerned for Jeff’s daughters, who have to settle for 2nd place like Jeff did. Jeff snaps and they brawl. During it, Jeff KO’s Earl Hebner.

Mick Foley and JB. Mick thinks that Jeff has gone crazy, and needs security. Rocko and Sallyboy come in.

Jesse Neal (sailor) promo.

Lauren is with Rhino and Jesse, asking Jesse is he ready for Matt Morgan. He says that it’s the most difficult that he’s ever done, but its his dream, and wants to make it a reality.

Match 4: Matt Morgan vs. Jesse Neal

Jesse takes the advantage, locks in a headlock, but Morgan hits a back suplex. Morgan elbows him in the corner. He’s just toying with him. He does a modified throwing snake eyes. Goes for a pin, but breaks it. Carbon Footprint.

Winner: Matt Morgan

Match Rating: 5/10

Mick is coming out with security.

ODB training Deaner promo.

Mick Foley is out now. Next week, it’ll be Samoa “Taz 3.0” Joe vs. Steiner and Booker in a Nation of Violence First Blood match. I’ll explain later. Sting vs. Kurt, qualifier. Mick picked up the security after Sting released them. He’s scared of JJ, that he’s snapped. For every action, theres a reaction, and next week, his reaction will be hardcore.

Sting is with JB, who asks about the match next week. Sting says that the MEM are stronger than ever and have momentum, so there will be no changes. Morgan comes in and wants in the Mafia. He insults Jesse while doing this. But Sting respects him because, well, he served us for four years. He tells Morgan to come back when he finds some respect.

JB is with Steiner and Booker. Basically, the match is two back to back first blood matches. Blah blah, Joe’s gonna get hurt. Whatever.

Match 5: Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe (Six Sides of Steel)

Both start off with kendo sticks. Joe gets the first hits in, but Kevin lands some back. Knees to Joe in the corner, then chokes Joe with the stick. Joe rams Kevins head into the cage.

Hits Kevin with a sign, then lands punches. Kevin hit’s a low blow and gets a garbage can lid. Three shots, and a 2 count. Lid shot to Nash now, but another on Joe. Joe hit’s a dropkick and a splash, then a rear naked choke. Then he breaks a hockey stick over Nash’s back. I like the Stanley cup hint. LET’S GO PENS!!!!!

Winner: Samoa Joe

Match Rating: 8/10

Show Rating: 7/10