Negative Influences – the Quick Sands of Life By Ian Spencer At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

We were talking about negative thoughts and what needs to be done when they pop up in the mind. There is one more thing here that needs to be addressed. What causes these negative thoughts? There would be of course some reason for which these thoughts would evolve. In some cases the source for these negative thoughts are imaginary – these are rare cases. In most cases, however, the circumstances push you into it. Therefore, you need to recognize the negative influences in your life and work hard to neutralize them the best way you could.

Look for the trigger when you develop negative thoughts. My sister lived on a wonderful farm with her husband and their four-year-old daughter. One day a rattlesnake bit her daughter and she died before they could get understand what happened or get help. She had three more children after that and led a relatively normal life. However, every time the children would venture away from her sight, she would hyperventilate. The doctor identified her suffering from anxiety, which was triggered by the belief that her daughter died because she did not take good care of her by letting her play out of her sight. With treatment and positive reinforcement she could gradually come to terms with the loss without blaming herself and her anxiety attacks regarding her other children stopped.

Negative influences do not come only from circumstances. They also come as vibes from those with whom you interact closely. Is your spouse always nagging you all the time? Is your boss always undermining your authority or treating you as if you were an imbecile? Are your colleagues bullying you? Are your colleagues/ friends/ any of your family members gloomy and despondent all the time? If yes, take adequate measures to address these issues.

Start with making a list (lists are exceptional tools for positive action) and prioritize the negative influences you find surrounding you. Against each item, mark one or two workable solutions and one that make you smile (may or may not be workable). When I say workable it means something that you can live with and within. For example, if your spouse stresses you out with her or his nagging, talk with his or her and try to make him or her aware of how it bothers you. If you have troublesome boss, deal with the problem directly and explain to him or her how you feel about the way he/she treats you. When and if talking fails, look for alternatives. Do not give up until you eliminate as many stress factors as possible from your life.

Surround yourself with positive energy, positive people, environment that suits your disposition. I know of a woman who loved a ‘well-lived in’ feel for her home. Her husband on the other hand needed to have everything in perfect order. She lived in constant fear that her husband would get upset about some thing or other misplaced or unkempt in their home and an argument would start. When she suffered from an anxiety attack one day, she decided to do something about it other than just dread the moment when her husband would come home and start an argument. She talked to her husband and explained that she needed to feel happy and relaxed in her own home. They worked out a solution: she had her own living room which she could keep it the way she liked without any interference. For the rest of her home the maintenance would be shared among the two of them so it would not stress her out any more. It worked like a charm.

Some solutions would be easy, some might be a little complicated and yet others would seem to be impossible to solve. Take each case and address it on its own merit. Aim at reducing the stress to the maximum possible extent. The problems, which cannot be helped momentarily, should be “managed” better. When looking for solutions, keep this in mind – “You always have a choice. There is always another way to do it.”

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