When Intuition Goes Dark

Well over a decade ago I was going through a real bad patch. It was not long after I had been kicked out of a spiritual group in New Zealand for being a drama queen. I lost face big time, and it was all terribly embarrassing for my ego. Nonetheless, I started to think of how I could get my life back on track. After fiddling around for a few weeks, I decided that I wanted to run a workshop teaching people about intuition.

I used the Quick Check to determine the energy on doing the workshop (the Quick Check is a particular method of determining whether an action serves your spirit or not). However, I could not get a consistent energy reading, and remained locked in self-doubt and confusion. Being asked to leave the spiritual group had affected me deeply, as belonging to that group meant the world to me. I also knew that self-doubt and uncertainty was a doorway through which negative energy was prying at my mind, and I wondered whether my readings were being affected by this.

So, I decided to use the Trance State to seek clarification, and put the word out to Spirit. I sat down, and slowly relaxed until I knew I was in the drowsy state where visions flow. I then asked the question.

“Spirit, what is the energy on my conducting this workshop?”

I repeated this question several times over a period of ten minutes or so, and a feint voice kept saying “No”. Yet I still felt there was something not right about it. So I relaxed even more, and continued putting out the question. Suddenly, a short vision came to me. Looking down from above, I saw my personal teacher from the spiritual group. He was half-obscured under a black umbrella, as if he was trying to hide from my view. He said very clearly: “No, there’s no energy on it at all.”

After the meditation I reflected on the vision. The meaning seemed clear. My spiritual teacher was generating a lot of negative energy, “messaging” me and trying to stop me. Psychic messaging occurs where someone unconsciously sends a stream of negative thoughts to you to try to manipulate your mind. It happens to all of us every day, but some messaging is stronger than others. This was the very strong kind.

I had trouble believing what I had seen. It didn’t make much sense. After all, this was the man who had taught me so much of what I knew. He was one of the good guys. Why would he be trying to hurt me during my darkest hour? That would be the kind of “behavior” of a rather devious personality. Nonetheless, I had experienced enough of such visions to know that this one felt right – and it was the Feeling Sense that I trusted. Still, there was no way for me to confirm or deny the vision’s content in an empirical way, for I was completely excluded from contact with the group, and I wasn’t able to talk to my teacher or anyone else in the group about it.

I made a decision and I went ahead and did the workshop. It was attended by just a few people, but that was perfectly fine.

Meanwhile I continued to work on the issues which had led to my exclusion from the group, the same issues that were allowing my mind to be affected by dark energy. I figured that even though I would probably never be able to work with such advanced souls again, what I was doing would benefit humanity as a whole. For whenever any of us heals a part of the wounded child within us, we add a little more light to humanity and cosmos, and our shadow energy is prevented from being passed down to our children.

A month later I got a surprise phone call from one of the spiritual group members. To my joy and amazement, I was invited back into the group. I was even more shocked to learn that my former spiritual teacher had been asked to leave the group, just at the time I had had the vision of him messaging me. It had been discovered that his negative energy was adversely affecting other group members, and he was unable to deal with the issues that lay behind the problem. The vision about him that I had picked up the month before had been spot on.

There are several things to note from this. Firstly, some inner voices are not yours, and are simply there to try to mess you up. If you are experiencing a lot of fear, self-doubt and confusion, you can be pretty sure there will be dark energy around. However, it is a chicken and egg situation. The dark energy is coming in through the wounds within your own psyche, including your self-doubt, self-destructive thoughts and negative beliefs. So, in a sense the darkness is a mirror to your soul. If you turn and face the fear and pain that is permitting the energy to enter your mind, you will come to a deeper awareness of yourself, your soul issues, and in turn you will experience healing. This is one of the reasons why I say that you must work on your healing as you live your Bliss. If you don’t, you will be vulnerable to manipulation from negative energies.

Remember, do not blindly follow inner voices and feelings. You need to reflect upon their merit. How do you do this? That will be the subject of my next article.