The Future of Baby Showers: Five Tips For Celebrating Great-Grandma's Newborn's Upcoming Motherhood

Those of you who've raised children or are currently raising children-did you catch the recent news story about the possibility of a newborn giving birth and 100-year-old women becoming pregnant? I'll give you a moment to stop shuddering.

Yes. According to David Solter, a developmental biologist in Singapore, advancements over the next 30 years should "make it possible for women at any age to give birth."

Here's the technical stuff: This will all be possible "if scientists continue advancing germ cell technology, which involves turning skin cells into sperm and eggs, and then combining the two into human embryos." Okay. So let's hear it for science. Whoopee.

I think we should take a poll of newborn girls and 100-year-old women to see how many of them are interested in getting pregnant at this particular point in their lives. We'll probably have a bit of difficulty finding 1) newborns who can talk and 2) 100-year-old women who are still breathing. You see where I'm going with this.

In defense of these scientists, apparently this research will eventually enable women to "have as many or as few progeny as they want." I thought we could do that now. It's called "birth control." Actually, there really is some redeeming value to this research and its possibilities like being able to improve the health of babies while they're still in the womb.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck on newborns and 100-year-olds having babies. Does that creep you out as much as it does me? Imagine having to throw baby showers for promiscuous newborns. Although finding perfect baby shower gifts for great-granny should be easy-a lifetime supply of "Jolt" Cola (which might be just a case or two at this point,) a gift certificate to "Geriatric Gymboree," a list of potential adopters-I could go on for a while. Let's move on to those five tips for baby shower planning:

Make sure you have a tank of oxygen close by at the baby shower for your 100-year-old friend. When the centenarian mom-to-be plays those shower games and opens her baby shower gifts, the excitement may...well, you know.

For the newborn mom-to-be, keep the baby shower small-maybe just her mother and the other babies in her day-care group. Give disposable diapers as baby shower favors, and be prepared to help them enjoy your pretty and practical "thanks for coming" gift.

Great-granny's baby shower menu gives you a chance to be creative with prunes, acidophilus milk, Geritol and the "puree" button on your blender.

Keep your newborn's shower menu fun and simple. Breast milk shakes should do it.

Whether your baby shower is for a newborn or a 100-year-old, don't forget to plan it around a theme. Here are some adorable nursery-rhyme ideas:

> For the newborn's shower: Little Miss Muffed-It or Monday's Child (is Tuesday's child's mother.)

> For the 100-year-old's shower: There Was an Old Woman (who clearly didn't know when to stop) or Hot Cross Buns (a tip of the hat to her latest medical condition, which is why you need to pay close attention to the shower's menu.)

*NOTE: Disposable diapers are also a thoughtful and practical baby shower favor for great-grandma's party, too!