7 Steps to Become a Popular Teenager

Being popular is all about being both known and liked. If everyone knows you but doesn’t like you…you’re not popular. If you are liked by the people that know you, but the number of people that know you is very small…you are not popular. Follow these 7 steps and watch you popularity grow!

Step 1. Show Up

To get to know more people you have to show up where people are gathering. That means every opportunity you have to go to a social event, be it a party, sporting event, school dance, school play, fundraiser, etc. show up! The more you show up, the more events you will be included in and invited to. The more people see you on a regular basis, the more familiar they become with you and have the opportunity to know you and like you. You will never become popular by staying home and dreaming about being popular. You have to get out there and make it happen.

What about my parents, you might ask? Well, that’s also up to you. To be a teenager that’s “on the go” you have to act responsibly, so your parents will feel comfortable letting you go to all the different events you need to go to, to become popular. That means doing your best with your schoolwork and helping out at home by doing things like helping out with household chores, keeping your room clean and being nice to your parents and siblings. Then your parents are more likely to say “yes” when you ask to go to one of your many social events.

Step 2. Be Willing to Say “Hello” First

Being shy or being a stuck-up snob will not make you popular. On top of showing up, you also have to be willing to be friendly. It can be scary to put yourself out there and be the first one to say “Hi”. For some, socializing comes natural but for many it means stepping out of their “comfort zone” and risking rejection. Just remember nothing ventured, nothing gained. Giving someone a simple genuine compliment without gushing over them is usually the best way to make a friendly introduction.

Step 3. Don’t Take Things Personally

Let’s face it, there may be times when others aren’t receptive to your friendliness. When that happens, realize it’s not about you, it’s about them and their issues. Unfortunately, some people have anger issues and/or low self esteem that may cause them to be socially immature. Often these people mask their feelings of weakness and frustration with meanness and/or an attitude of being better than everyone. Don’t let yourself get sucked into their mind games. Stay positive and keep being nice and friendly knowing most people are going to be receptive.

Step 4. Focus On the Good in Others

As you’re getting to know more and more people there will be times you meet people that you find unappealing, annoying or rude. In these cases you have to take control of your mental state and try to find something good and likable in that person. Shifting your mental focus to that positive characteristic will help you to like the person and in return, the person will like you. For example, let’s say you meet a girl and you are immediately annoyed by her whiny style of talking. You make yourself aware that you don’t like her because of her whining and decide to focus on the fact that you do admire her fashion or her intelligence. See the good in others and they will see the good in you. Remember, to be popular is to be known and liked. Most people will not genuinely like you, if you don’t like them.

Note: This is a mental state that takes practice but is very effective in increasing your popularity. Also, there will be times you find people to be creepy or you don’t like the way you feel around them. Under those circumstances don’t say anything negative, just listen to your instincts and stay away from them.

Step 5. Have Style

Having style isn’t about having money. You can shop at thrift stores and have style. What’s important here is something marketers refer to as “branding”. Branding is communicating what you want others to think of when they think of you or a product. Your personal style can become your “brand” and help establish you in the mind of others, putting you on the fast track to popularity.

You may already have a personal style, but didn’t realize it. If not, put some thought into perfecting your personal style. Think of what looks good on you and repeat that consistently. Maybe you’ve been told that you look really good in pink, so you incorporate as much pink as possible into your wardrobe. Maybe you have beautiful hands and like to draw attention to them by always wearing dark nail polish and big chunky rings and lots of bracelets. Maybe you like to show off your nice legs by wearing short skirts a lot. The more you repeat a style the more it becomes associated with “you” in the mind of others. Then when they see others wearing it, they think of you.

Note: Remember that imitation is the highest form of flattery, yes it’s a huge compliment. When others start imitating you, take it in stride and don’t say anything. This will be a sign that your popularity is growing!

Step 6. Don’t Be Extreme

Sometimes, in an attempt to be noticed and get attention people do extreme things. They may wear too much makeup, talk and laugh as loud as possible, wear clothing that is too revealing, or take part in risky behaviors. Being extreme won’t make you popular. Being extreme will probably make you known but not liked. Basically, people that are extreme are often talked about negatively because they are seen as socially immature and pathetic.

Step 7. Don’t Gossip

This will probably be the most challenging but most crucial step for your success in becoming popular. Just know that whenever you talk about someone, there is a huge chance that it will probably get back to them. Also, when you talk negatively about someone that negative energy is sent out into the universe and the person feels it and will not trust you on a subconscious level. In addition to doing harm to the person that you’re talking about, the people you are gossiping with will perceive you as a gossiper and know that you’re not completely trustworthy. They will think if she talks about her, she’ll probably talk about me when I’m not around. Remember, to be popular you must be liked and people don’t like who they don’t trust.

To avoid getting sucked into gossip don’t say,“I don’t gossip” because that could make the people you’re in conversation with feel you are pointing them out as bad. Simply lead by example by changing the subject or be quiet until the topic of conversation shifts. If the others seem to have a need to gossip then you can maybe shift the conversation to celebrity gossip. Talking about the lives of actresses, models and singers can be more exciting and is far removed from your reality.

When people realize that you never gossip, they will trust you and confide in you. This then leads to loyalty where people know that you “have their back” and they will have yours.