How to Start Living Your Own Life

There are many things that can bring a mature person down, and one of the most important ones is the Empty Nest Syndrome. You may find yourself crying for no reason; days seem endless and empty; you may feel useless, and forget about friends and the things you love to do… in a few words, life has stopped. This is how this syndrome may manifest itself in your life right after your children leave home, and they don’t need you on a daily basis anymore.

The Empty Nest Syndrome is especially strong in the case of parents who have a very strong bond with their children and have sacrificed their personal lives for a long time to take care of them. The parents’ lives normally revolve around the children and their activities, making it a shock when they leave home to start their own lives.

Do not despair! There are ways to avoid falling into the dark void this syndrome presents, and live your own life fully and happily, sharing it with your grown up children instead of subordinating yourself to them.

1. Prepare in advance. Recognize early on that your children will grow up and leave. Get ready to let them go. Understand that love involves freedom, respect for the other’s individuality and right to experience life. Allow yourself, and be open, to live all the possibilities life brings. Accept the fact that your children will not need you in the same way forever and look forward to the stage when you will have time for yourself.

2. Look for someone to listen to you. Whether it is through counseling or through a good friend, having somebody you can share your pain with is an important part of healing, of looking at things positively and taking the necessary steps to rebuild your life.

3. Stay busy. Use the free time you have now to take on those activities that interest you and never had time to pursue. Go back to school, learn to paint, take up gardening, travel, write a book, do yoga! There are endless possibilities to what you can do during this new stage of your life; you can actually live it for you and not someone else!

4. Make new friends. Get in touch with old friends you haven’t seen in a long time and make new ones in new places, while you pursue new activities. Contact that person you stopped talking to so many years ago and don’t recall why; renew your life.

5. Keep in touch with your children. Take advantage of the modern means of communication: phone, Skype, Messenger, etc., to talk to your kids and see them regularly. Visit them as much as possible and take joy in their new life. Support them in their new endeavors; participate in any way you can.

6. Take better care of yourself. Eat healthy and see your physician about an exercise program. Consult your gynecologist and find out about bioidentical hormone treatment to get some relief from any discomfort or depression that may be associated to menopause.

7. Stay positive and learn to see the bright side of life. Look at the new relationship you have with your children. It is now a grown-up relationship, and rejoice in it. Look back with pride at what you have accomplished and look forward to all the new doors that are opening up for you! Can it get any better?

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