The Importance of Being the Mother of the Bride

How exciting! Your daughter’s fiancé just announced their engagement at a quiet dinner with you and the rest of her family. You knew it was coming, but now that it’s here, you are overwhelmed by all the planning and preparation to come. You find yourself wondering what your daughter will need from you or how she will want you to be involved, because no matter how much you may disagree in the months to come, the truth is, every bride needs her mother. She will look to you more than just for money, but also as a constant source of support and encouragement. Here are some tips on how to appropriately fill your role as mother of the bride:

1) The first thing you should do is sit down with your daughter and come up with a budget. Traditionally, if the bride and groom won’t be paying for the wedding, then the bride’s parents pay for the wedding. You need to get the numbers out on the table, that way your bride knows what she has to work with.

2) The mother of the bride also assists the bride in selecting her wedding gown. This is usually a special time for mothers and daughters, so it is important that you try to attend every bridal gown appointment.

3) If you haven’t met the groom’s parents, it is tradition that the bride’s parents invite the groom’s family over for dinner so that the families can meet. It’s important that your daughter and her fiancé know that they have encouragement and support from both families and a group dinner is a great way to express that.

4) You should also set the tone for the mothers’ gowns. Be sure to purchase yours quickly and with your daughter’s help, because she may have a specific idea of what she wants you to wear on her special day. After picking out your gown, be sure to inform the mother of the groom about the color and style. This will allow her to at least purchase one in the same color. This will help people easily identify your role in the ceremony and it will look great for pictures.

5) Assisting your daughter with the guest list is also something that will be a huge help to her. Be sure to get together the names and addresses of people from your side of the family and get them to her. You might consider printing them up on a couple of sheets of labels, that way all your daughter has to do is stick them on the invitations.

6) You can also assist your daughter in getting hotel rates for the out of town guests. After finding a relatively affordable hotel, be sure to reserve a certain number of rooms under the bride and groom’s name, so that guests can easily make their hotel arrangements.

7) You are the unofficial hostess of the wedding and reception. Make sure that the guests are comfortable and at the reception you should make sure that the food and beverages stay refreshed and plentiful so that your guests aren’t left wondering.

8) The mother of the bride should be sure to attend all the showers and the rehearsal dinner. Be sure to arrive promptly and stay late to assist with clean up and thanking the guests.

9) Another thing to remember is that while this is your daughter’s day, it’s a special day for you. So you should consider pampering yourself by getting your hair, nails, and possibly your make-up done.

While each bride wants her mother to assist with different aspects of her special day, its important that you be available to do whatever your daughter may need you do. Your involvement is very important to your daughter, even if she never says so.