Top Tips For Avoiding a Wedding Cake Disaster

In a way, it's surprising brides don't encounter more wedding cake disasters as they sashay their way down a checklist toward the happiest day of their lives. And here's why -- buying an enormous, artisanal cake is just not something many of us have a lot of experience with. In fact, for most of us pre-wedded types, our main way of buying baked goods is pointing to what some cheery counter person should shove into a bag for us that day.

Not quite the same as ordering up a custom $500 creation while you clutch a photo clipped from Brides magazine, is it?

Here's the problem. Most of us, by the time we're even thinking about walking down the aisle, have been exposed to some insanely sophisticated creations. Every month, we see bigger and more beautiful architectural wonders sprawled across the covers of Martha Stewart Weddings and InStyle -- cakes assembled by a team under the watchful eye of a master baker, who rules over machines that do nothing but press fondant.

Whether we think about it or no, we instinctively know that a "statement" cake is going to be the most eye-catching thing at the whole reception, save the bride. And while these days, sleek and structural wedding gowns are "in," and tiaras and crowns are possibly "out" (oh darn!), there's nothing stopping us from ordering up an opulent, over-the-top cake for guests to ooh and ahh over. Oh yes, we want that cake. That cake is the fairytale. And it seems like every baker does wedding cakes, so what's the problem?

The problem is, you need to bring your dream to a baker truly capable of executing it.

Because those top-of-the-line cakes -- the type that gets photographed and flown across the country -- can go for $10 a slice or more. For a cake that serves 200, that's quite an investment.

So if you head to a home baker who promises to replicate your cover-girl cake with the handpainted swallows, lustre-dusted pearls and a gilded fondant bow for $175, you just might have just stumbled onto the world's biggest bargain.

But it's more likely you've stumbled onto the bane of many a bride ... having your heart set on a cake that's "too big" for your budget and your baker. For example, let's say your dream cake photo shows sharp plaid lines or a flowing triskel worked out in bright fondant, to celebrate your celtic heritage. Great!

But give that assignment to your local grocery store, and you just might end up with some sad, saggy lines pressed out from a tube of day-glo gel, or a (shudder!) poorly-reinforced creation that collapses on itself before the champagne is served.

Sure, the local CostSlasher should have known they weren't up to the task. But you also should have known that they couldn't deliver a three-tier, magazine-ready work of art for just a Bejamin and change.

If you want an artisan cake, choose an artisan baker. Pour over their portfolio. Ensure that they've done cakes, and done them recently, that involve a similar level of skill, complexity and difficulty to yours. Ensure that there are a lot of cakes in their portfolio, and that the baker you'll be working with actually made them. Expect to pay commensurately for their skill, time and equipment.

That's not to say you can't put "value" and "wedding cake" in the same sentence. For example, Publix consistently draws raves for beauty, taste and cost-consciousness, leading to scores of happy brides.

But if your aunt knows a friend of a friend who can make your cake for $100, you're best off keeping it simple. Really simple.

Don't try to get something for (almost) nothing. It will backfire.

And while we're talking value, keep in mind that few things are more beautiful than a sleek, ultra-simple white cake, blissed out with a few fresh blooms (make sure they're pesticide-free).

So follow these simple guidelines, and you're almost sure to count yourself among those savvy brides that sidestepped an all-too-predictable wedding cake disaster.