A Foreigners Attempt At The Japanese Driver's License Test

Once upon a time, there was a young American living in a far off world known as Fukuoka, Japan. This American had lived in the exotic world for a few years when he finally found out (refer to “Foreigners Wanting to Drive in Japan”) that the world in which he presently resides does not permit a creature from his home world to drive legally after having lived there for more than 12 months.

Seeking to please the leaders of planet Japan, the American sought to remedy the situation by obtaining an actual driver’s license. At first, he attempted to get a Japanese scooter license thinking it would be the easiest of Japanese licenses to get (refer to “Foreigners Wanting to Drive in Japan” to laugh at this poor American). But alas, the test was translated into such horrifically bad quality from Japanese to his foreign tongue that he could not pass the written examination... 4 times. (As a side note, the tests were identical all 4 times)

Upon failing the fourth time, one of the Japanese leaders seemed to take pity on the young boy and advised him to take the driver’s license test for automobiles instead of wasting the young American’s time and money (both of which had become a very considerable amount at this point) on the scooter license test. The Japanese leader went on to further encourage the already disheartened American by saying “It’s easy”. The young American’s eyes lit up! He had a friend on the inside! Poor foolish foolish foolish stupid idiot moron young American. What he understood as “It’s easy” was a misinterpretation. What the Japanese leader really meant was “You are in our land now. We are not finished taking your money yet SUCKER!”

What our silly young American came to find out is that a larger amount of the Japanese currency is required to take part in the automobile license test than the scooter license test. Ahh yes, quite a bit more actually. Documents need to be translated and more time needs to be wasted. The world known as Japan with its bureaucratic structure is here to offer substantial cruelty to those living within its borders.

What the American later found out is that the Japanese people themselves pay upwards of $3,000 to go to “driving schools” in order to pass the evil exam that is the Japanese driver’s license test (Another side note: “driving school” really means “money pit”. One who pays the fortune to go to a “driving school” is taught a few rules which are utterly useless and never followed in the real world but are required to be known for the driver’s license test). The American, having only spent about a hundred dollars or so at this point did not realize that the Japanese leaders would not be content until they took more money from him.

Our young American enthusiastically went about acquiring the necessary items for the automobile license test. After all the items were in order he went the following day to the licensing center. The test came in stages: 1) written test 2) eye examination 3) driving test. Fortunately for our hero, the written test was composed of only ten questions, seven being the minimum score required to pass. Yes, the language translation was still horrid, but the margin allowing for error was much greater than the scooter license test. Following the written test was the eye exam and then a two hour wait and then the driving test.

The driving test is taken on a course at the licensing center. In the car (which someone who takes the license test must rent for about $20) there is an examiner and two test subjects, one of which is in the back of the car to place an additional amount of pressure on the one taking the test at that time. Our brave American chose to be the first of the two subjects to take the test. About halfway through the course the examiner said, “Ok, you may return”. Confused, the American returned to the start and got out to let the other test subject try her luck. As it turned out, the American didn’t do any major thing wrong, but a myriad of tiny insignificant things.

Our heartbroken hero returned to the leader whom he considered his “friend” to ask him what he needed to do. At long last, the leader really did take pity on our young silly American and told him exactly what he needed to know to take the test, even down to the little most useless of things that the examiners look for. This information turned out to be worth its weight in gold and ended up saving the American about $2,000. The very next day our hero returned to find that the leader had told all of his minions that the American would pass the test today. And, after all was said and done, our American friend passed the test with flying colors.S.B.