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The Marlboro Man & Me

 
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Pat Graham

I smoked for at least 40 years. I really enjoyed it and had no intention of ever quitting, even though I had frequent bouts with pneumonia and related problems. I loved my Marlboros and kept them close to me through every personal crisis that hit me…death of friends & family, loss of jobs, financial problems, broken marriages, illnesses, dysfunctional relationships…normal things that usually happen to normal people.

I tried to quit three or four times and actually did for a week here and there before some perceived crack in my comfort zone drove me right back to my best friend, Marlboro cigarettes. I read all the steps to quit; even followed some of them for a few minutes or days. I even “worked down” from my beloved red pack to the light version.

I made a general announcement, “This is my last cigarette! I quit!” My belief was that I would chat myself into a public hole that would embarrass me enough to prevent relapse. Wrong!

I found things to keep in my mouth to distract me from smoking…hot cinnamon candies, mints, fake plastic cigarettes, nasty-tasting mouthwash. Wrong! Nothing tasted like my Marlboros and I was never distracted from the craving to smoke.

I read that after 3 days, the physical addiction was gone and the rest was emotional, Well, after 3 days my emotions were pounding a drum beat inside my head and I was sure I was going crazy. But I thought about that emotional thing for a while…while I was happily relapsing into nicotine heaven and working up to another bout with pneumonia.

One day, while taking a shower, it came to me that I was using cigarettes as my personal reward system…do the dishes and have a cigarette…take out the garbage and have a cigarette…wash clothes and have a cigarette…put them in the dryer and…you get the idea.

Being somewhat logical, I decided to try quitting smoking in a new way…one I designed myself. I gave myself permission to get some Marlboros anytime I wanted to, but I had to wait 30 minutes before I did it. This removed the “absolutely forbidden” component of trying to break this habit. While waiting for the 30 minutes to pass, I got busy doing something I enjoyed…like playing computer games, writing my genealogy, watching a really good video.

When I felt a need to smoke, I took notice of what task I had just finished…dishes, picking up dog poop on the lawn, etc. This brought the entire nicotine addiction problem down to something I could handle and could understand. Most times, when I got myself involved in some distracting activity while waiting for the 30 minutes to pass, an hour or two had actually gone by.

I have to admit that more than once I grabbed my keys and started out the door to buy some Marlboros. Once I analyzed my own need to smoke (reward system) I could say to myself, “You’ve got to wait 30 minutes,” and it worked. I haven’t smoked for over 10 years.

I still feel a twang of wanting a cigarette when I am stuck in traffic on Southern California freeways. I look around and people in most of the cars around me are smoking. But it is a momentary passing urge that disappears in a moment and no longer controls me. Hope this helps you.

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Pat Graham spent many years teaching parolees in parole offices in California to recover from substance abuse, create better relationships and control their anger. Her experiences in those classrooms revealed that most of the parolees abused drugs at a very young age. Her ebook on this subject covers the disasterous results of child addiction. Visit: http://www.childdrugaddicts.com
Article Tags: 30 [See Dictionary], minutes [See Dictionary], quit [See Dictionary]
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Article published on August 18, 2006 at Isnare.com
 
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