How exactly is cheating defined? Some will say that it involves an actual sexual act with someone other than a person’s significant other. Others would say that it is cheating to simply think about having sex with someone else. So where does online sex fall? If a wife views the family computer’s browsing history and finds that her husband has been having online sex with other women, is that considered cheating?
This is a rather touchy subject because a lot of individuals, married or not, engage in cyber sex. Some have spouses that know about it and others have spouses that don’t. It would be easier to say that those that know their partner is engaging on online sex don’t consider it cheating. For some, it is considered a way to get off without physical contact with another human being.
Nonetheless, those that catch a spouse engaging in online sex may consider it cheating if:
• There has been a high degree of secrecy during computer use.
• There is no consent from a partner.
• There is no concern over what one’s partner will feel if he or she found out.
• The online relationship becomes an obsession.
• The sexual relationship takes place with the same individual.
• Intimate details about one’s life and marriage are being shared in the online relationship.
• Gifts are being sent back and forth.
• The two parties meet one another.
Unfortunately, any of the above factors being present can lead to the end of relationships. When a person has cyber sex so much that they ignore their own sex life, there is a problem. Fortunately, there are ways to fix this.
One of the ways to fix a situation in which one partner is engaging on online sex is to change that energy over to the relationship that already exists. Online sex can be the clue that something needs to change, such as more time together. Maybe the two of you need to go on a weekend getaway and spend some time in the hot tub. You can also get adventurous and invest in some sex toys, Kama Sutra books, watch a porn together, or do something else the two of you would not normally do.
Overall, bringing some adventure back into the bedroom can help your relationship and reduce the need to engage in online sex, a form of sex that is not physical or really all that intimate. While in some cases cyber sex is not considered cheating, there are those cases where it is and it can be very hurtful. Even though actual intercourse is involved, it is more a matter of the heart. If a person’s heart is with someone else rather than where it should be, it can be like a wrecking ball to a relationship. Fortunately, there are ways you can work it out and every effort should be made to do so in order for the two of you tohave a great sex life again and a great relationship.